Unexpected mantras for happiness.

  1. Filtering: Take negative details and magnify them into a world view. Give attention to positive details. Reality has positive aspects.
  2. Polarized Thinking: “Black and “White” thinking. There is a middle ground and nuance.
  3. Overgeneralization: a person comes to a general conclusion based on a single incident or single piece of evidence. If something bad happens once they expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single unpleasant event as part of a never ending pattern of defeat. Draw conclusions after multiple datum.
  4. Jumping to Conclusions: Believing in phychic ability to read people’s minds, fortune tell and conclude based on this how they feel. They may conclude that someone is holding a grudge. You may be wrong about what people think and intend.
  5. Catastrophizing: They expect disaster to strike no matter what. Or using “What if tragedy strikes” to imagine the absolute worst occuring. I can choose a future of tranquility. What if the future is incredible?
  6. Personalization: belief that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to them. Taking non-personal things personally. Sees themselves as responsible for something they were not responsible for. It's probably not personal.
  7. Control Fallacies: Either seeing ourselves controlled externally or seeing ourselves as in control of people around us. For example, “Why aren’t you happy? Is it something I did?”. I control myself. I don’t control other people.
  8. Fallacy of Fairness: Believe they understand what is fair but that other people disagree. Life isn’t fair.
  9. Blaming: Holding other people responsible for their emotional pain, or blaming themselves for problems outside their control. Essentially blaming is attaching blame to people who don’t control something whether its yourself or other people. For example: “You made me mad!” You control the stories you tell yourself. You control your emotions. I don’t control other people’s emotions nor problems only my own.
  10. Shoulds: Should statements appear as a list of ironclad rules about how every person should behave. People who break the rules make a person following these should statements angry. They also feel guilty when they violate themselves. The consequence is guilt. It’s okay to break rules sometimes.
  11. Emotional Reasoning: “If I feel that way, it must be true.” Just because I feel something doesn’t mean its based on truth.
  12. Fallacy of Change: A person expects other people will change to suit them if they pressure enough. I can swap but I don’t need to change anyone.
  13. Global Labeling: Mislabeling. A person generalizes one or two qualities into a negative global judgement about themselves or another person. For example “I’m a loser” because of one thing. Everyone makes mistakes.I’m not summarized by a few examples.
  14. Always Being Right: Constantly putting other people on trial to prove that their own opinions and actions are the absolute correct ones. For example: “I don’t care how badly arguing with me makes you feel, I’m going to win this argument no matter what because I’m right.” Being right is more important than the feelings of others around a person who engages in this cognitive distortion even loved ones. Facts don’t care about your feelings but feelings but both matter in relationships.
  15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: False belief that a person’s sacrifice and self denial will eventually pay off as if some global force is keeping score. A hard worker may feel bitter if they aren’t rewarded. Working hard isn’t enough.

Give attention to positive details. Reality has positive aspects. There is a middle ground and nuance.Draw conclusions after multiple datum. You may be wrong about what people think and intend.I can choose a future of tranquility. What if the future is incredible? It’s probably not personal. I control myself. I don’t control other people. Life isn’t fair. You control the stories you tell yourself. You control your emotions. I don’t control other people’s emotions nor problems only my own.It’s okay to break rules sometimes. Just because I feel something doesn’t mean its based on truth. I can swap but I don’t need to change anyone. Everyone makes mistakes.I’m not summarized by a few examples. Facts don’t care about your feelings but feelings but both matter in relationships. Working hard isn’t enough.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store